I came across an astonishing outburst on Facebook the other day. OK, so this is Facebook, where astonishing outbursts are two a penny, but this one took my breath away.
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In scrolling down my wall, I noticed a post in capitals. [Now, I used to write all my email subject lines in capitals, which I thought gave them emphasis, until a business colleague pointed out I was considered to be shouting, so I stopped.] This post was one of three from an author [whom Iām not going to name] informing her followers that unless they not only read her blog posts, but commented on them, she was going to unfriend them. Sheād had it with āhangers-onā and they could ātake a hikeā!
As a writer myself, I know where sheās coming from and can understand her frustration. Iāve written blog posts that have included questions at the end; Iāve sat waiting for responses to flood in (although even a trickle would be nice); Iāve wondered if the deafening silence means people hate what Iāve written, or just arenāt interested enough to respond, or havenāt actually found me in the crowded blogosphere.
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But as a business woman I was horrified. Writers rely on readers and potential readers not only for primary sales, but unbiased book reviews, recommendations and repeat sales. John Wanamaker, one of the early proponents of marketing is believed to have been the originator of the phrase: “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” The same can be said of any marketing or promotional activities. We just donāt know how effective anything we do really is. But I think itās a safe bet that telling people to go away if theyāre not reacting the way we want them to is NOT a good promotional tactic.
I was also shocked by the rudeness of the messages. I do not know this author personally and do not solicit links with unknown people; therefore the only way I could have ended up on her list is through responding to a request from her. So, she invited me into her world in the first place. Now she was threatening to expel me because I didnāt behave exactly as she required. Result? I posted a polite message pointing out why I thought her approach was wrong ā and left.
Writers write for many reasons: for ourselves, for family, for other people, for fame, for fortune [good luck with that one!] but often, just because we have to; the words wonāt stay in our heads any longer.
No-one has the right to demand anything of readers. SoĀ while I hope lots of people read this post and it would be nice if some of you leave a comment afterwards, I promise I won’t shout at you if you don’t!
Natasha Ahmed
As someone with 152 followers on Facebook, a rant like this author's would end my social media presence completely. I wouldn't mind the luxury of being able to tell my critics to take a long walk on a short pier, but readers? I have three fans and I'm clinging on to them for dear life!!!
Cathie
Gosh, I'm shocked too. What strange behaviour. Upper case is Very Bad Manners. š
Bernardine Kennedy
I also unfriended this woman. Rude… I hate bullies!
Elizabeth Ducie
Absolutely, Natasha. No-one owes anything and we have to make everyone feel welcome or they will move on to somewhere else.
Elizabeth Ducie
And what surprised me, Cathie, was how many of her 'friends' posted "oh no, you don't mean me do you? sorry I haven't been talking to you" messages. Only one person, before me, questioned the thread. Mind you after me, there were others who said the same thing. And I suspect there were quite a few who just disappeared without a word.
Elizabeth Ducie
And unfortunately, Bernadine, social media seems to have spawned quite a lot of them.
Alison Morton
Sometimes you do feel you are blogging into the void, but I expect somebody out there is reading it. Response to a post can also be be gauged by how many people have Tweeted it to sent it to FB or Google +.
While writers are perfectly at liberty to coax, entice, tease, inform and entertain readers, it's really not done to diss them.
Apart from the bad manners aspect, it makes little commercial sense.
And bloggers should ask themselves this question: who am I actually writing for?
Elizabeth Ducie
True, Alison. Twitter in particular lends itself to what the marketeers term the CTA (call to action): click here for… etc. and a question at the end of a blog is the same thing. But the only penalty in not responding to the CTA should be to miss out on whatever's on offer.
Terry Tyler
What a lunatic!!! I've seen similar behaviour; one woman was complaining about writers only advertising their books and not engaging with her. I said, well, start conversations, comment on things. She said she'd tried, and no-one took the bait. She then wrote a blog post about how selfish all these writers were for only advertising their books and not talking to her. I commented, suggesting that telling people off via a blog post was possibly not the best way to gain online friendships. She didn't reply. I suspect she had other issues!!!
As far as getting your blog posts read, the onus is on the writer, isn't it? Do a really good tweet/headline that makes people want to click on that link, and, when they get there, make sure the content is of interest so that they comment/pass on/read other posts by you. I'm amazed by how unexciting some people's tweets are. Some actually just put 'new blog post', then the link….. yes, you and 100,000 others this week, mate!!! I'm glad you told that twitterer what you thought was wrong with her approach; if she's that much of a self-absorbed nutter she'll probably just dismiss it anyway, though!
By the way – great post!
Elizabeth Ducie
Thanks Terry. I sometimes struggle to make a good enough point in Tweets, but certainly there's room in a FB post to sell oneself.
Elizabeth Ducie
Thanks Jan. The posts that have generated the most discussion (up until now) have been my gripes about poor grammar – and the time when I said I was never going to read any more Dickens! It's absolutely about hitting the right subject.
Kay-Anne Sheen
That's terrible. She doesn't deserve any followers. Regarding your posts… I always enjoy them even if I don't leave a comment. So thank you.
Elizabeth Ducie
Thanks Lay-Anne; that's good to hear.
SS Kuruganti
I'm mystified by the conciliatory comments you mentioned this writer getting. I can't imagine anyone in my life reacting that way if I behaved similarly – even my best friends would probably call me up to scold me into taking down the post!
Sheila
I can only agree with your post and the following comments. Speaking as a reader only and as a customer in general, as soon as someone tells me that I must do something I'm off in the other direction.
As for bemoaning the lack of people talking to you – needy is not a good look š
Elizabeth Ducie
Yes, that was an aspect I found really strange too. There was a distinct element of 'please don't scold me; I'll be good'!
Elizabeth Ducie
Yes, Sheila, I agree. In the past, I've been a member of a couple of FB groups that try to insist their members participate. I didn't stay there long either.
sharingthestoryblog
I guess these are the kind of people in real life who are the bores who talk AT you, show no interest in you as a person and only want you as an audience to their one-sided, self-interested conversation. As for listening..
Being a bit of a social media newbie, I attended a few free workshops on the subject before Christmas – the message was very simple: the same rules of being 'social' apply – good manners, good listening and polite engagement. You can't demand anyone's attention – you can only give out what you hope to get back and your 'friends' will find you. Nice post š
mentzer2150
A very good article. It's hard enough to build a reader base and following with words of encouragement. But to chastise those same people is just so wrong. I completely understand their frustration and feel like I'm in the same boat. However, I just keep plugging away, without threats because it's not worth my time or energy to make threats. I'd rather have comments made freely than to force them.
Elizabeth Ducie
Sorry Kay-Anne, just realised I mis-spelt your name last time; should proof-read before posting š
Elizabeth Ducie
Thanks for your comments. Very good point about the same rules applying online as off; the same goes when sending emails – I always stop and think "would I be prepared to say this on the phone or face-to-face?"
Elizabeth Ducie
Thanks for the feedback. I think we all understand the frustration; it's just that there are different ways of dealing with it.